Wow let me start off by saying to God be all the glory. At the beginning of 2020 I lost it all. My relationship, friends, family, finances, job, etc. Although, I didn’t understand then what God was doing in this new year all the pieces are slowly falling into its place. Let me tell you about how God and Jesus brought back home a lost prodigal who at one point turned narcissistic. Yes, it all sounds crazy but hold on…
I know most people will say Narcissism cannot be cured but “For there is nothing that God cannot do.” (Luke 1:37) Believe it or not God can make the unexpected happen. My prodigal was being controlled by the Jezebel spirit which led to narcissism as He was being led astray by the enemy.. The jezebel spirit is a wicked, lying, manipulative spirit that seeks to destroy churches, families, people and God’s chosen people.
Remember the enemy only comes to bring division to what God has joined together. “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mark 10:9) However, this all didn’t just happen. Due to our ignorance and lack of knowledge in Christ we left a door open for the enemy to come into our relationship. Jesus had many lessons to teach me and my prodigal in that season of hardship.
We both made a lot of mistakes in this relationship because we did not leave God and Jesus in the center of our relationship. In the beginning we kept Jesus front and center of it all and we experienced His peace. Yet, at one point we let our guard down, got too comfortable and the enemy came in to attack. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” (John 10:10)
I couldn’t control my emotions and had a major attitude problem therefore I would say very mean things to my partner whenever my feelings were hurt. The prodigal had a problem of not listening and always desiring the wrong things than God’s will for His life. This led to a point where we would constantly argue and fight to the point where we became toxic for each other. Overtime, God had to intervene and humble both of us.
God will not bless no mess and there was a lot of strife in my relationship. Strife is arguing, being violent, bitterness, etc. Also, we have a son and the environment was far from healthy for him. As I stated earlier we lacked a lot of knowledge on how we should act and behave towards each other because we were not in tune with God’s words. Jesus had to bring us to the end of ourselves and into Him.
Just when I thought the prodigal was a complete narcissist with no return back home God came around to teach me a lesson. A narcissistic is a self centered person who only cares about themselves and doesn’t care about hurting others. When God separated us and the prodigal went back to His hometown I decided I was done but little did I know we each were in training. He was in Pennsylvania and I was in California.
During those months away God had me fasting and praying for my prodigal. This was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. You cannot start to imagine how many times it looked like nothing was working. I wanted to give up so many times but by the grace of God I kept going because “Everything was working together for my good.” (Romans 8:28) I couldn’t see then what I have witnessed now.
Praying for others is what God commands us to do. Fasting for someone who is weak can help God change that person’s heart. Both of these are forms of interceding for others. Intercession brings unity. You never know if you’re the gateway that leads that person to God. It’s crazy how the world doesn’t teach you much about things like these. “Through Knowledge shall the just be delivered.” (Proverbs 11:9)
I knew God wanted me to do this because I had to put my emotions aside and understand this was all for God’s glory. Jesus turned it all around so He can show His power through us. The old me would have been stubborn and have chosen not to pray or fast because of my emotions towards the prodigal and the hurt he caused me. But all this was always way bigger than us. Sometimes things fall apart to fall back better together.
Most of the decisions God will ask us to make have to come from our minds and not our emotions. If we let our emotions get in the way we can miss a lot of opportunities. All this has drawn me closer to the Father and I’m grateful for it all. What didn’t kill me gave me experience. The prodigal and I still have a long way to go and we will have to endure many more trials but we are now wiser and stronger in Christ.
Our relationship was never only about us but about God, Jesus, helping others and the generations to come. My prodigal and I needed to heal from past traumas and things that were impeding us from walking in the fullness of God’s will for us. Our son and the future generations to come needed to see change. We are breaking through generational curses and every stronghold that has been holding us hostage.