Ministry Calling; I Finally Found My Passion
Hello, my name is Anadelia and my family is from the Dominican Republic but I was born in New York. Growing up I felt like the ugly duckling of the family. Everyone would bully me and call me names. Also, nobody was nice to me. My mom was always working and was never really there for me. We were always moving around to different cities/states. The money consumed her all she wanted was nice houses and materialistic things. Those things never filled me they still left me with this void. All I yearned for being the only thing that is free in this world, love and time. She wanted to be so different from her family, but she ended up just like the rest of them. She always put me last even her boyfriends came first. I had to learn things on my own and act as a mother to my younger siblings. My dad got deported back to the Dominican Republic when I was young, he was never in my life. I saw him one time in my life and he told me to get something from a store to later ask my mom for money. My grandma would always go to church and take me with her when I was a little girl. If only you knew, my grandma and my family were the types of people they preach against in a church. They were corrupted people who only cared about the money and sinned against each other. It’s funny how they portrayed this fake image to the outside world. As you can see, I grew confused, at that with a lot of anger and always thought negatively. At the same time, I grew strong and brave and I was very smart.
The Dominican Republic
New York City
I thought they lost themselves when my uncle shot himself. I was not born by that time, but his name was Miguel and you could tell he kept the family together. Or that they sunk even more when my aunt died on August 29, 2013. My aunt Erika was an angel sent from heaven who God just had to get back. She always believed in me. In a way, she was my mother figure. I remember her smile but she wasn’t happy with herself. An infection because she wanted to change her body killed her. Or maybe it was when my grandpa died on August 27, 2017. He was another angel God just had to get back. He took on a responsibility he didn’t have to take on and I’ll forever be grateful. He was not my real grandfather he still took on the challenge though. But I finally figured out the missing piece. I know now why everyone and everything was how it was. Could you believe they all worship other Idols instead of the almighty God. Then they wonder why there is so much misery around them. God said “You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.” Most people will claim they don’t believe in the bible because it was man made. But who created the man? GOD.
I remember growing up my dream was to be a lawyer if anybody would ask me, that was what I wanted to be. In conclusion, I wanted to help keep people out of jail because people were always getting into trouble in my family. My older brother until this day keeps going in and out of jail. As I completed my first year of college I didn’t feel passionate or saw myself being a lawyer anymore. After finishing that school year off I didn’t go back to school. By then I was 19 with no sense of direction of what I wanted to do with my life. I had many jobs, I didn’t like working for other people. I always wanted to be my own boss. In July, the summer of 2017 was when I started to run away from God, instead of running towards him. I met the father of my son around this time. When we met we were both lost and so far away from the Lord. In August he got shot, the bullet went in through his back and came out through his chest. As you can see he wasn’t supposed to be alive, but the Lord works in mysterious ways. After that, we tried to get closer to the lord. We would go to church every Sunday and I even got my first Bible and that made me feel closer to the Lord. For the first time in my life, I was happy.
Two years pass by and my life goes downhill again. We lost our Apartment and in the midst of it all I find out I’m pregnant. We moved in with my aunt. My relationship takes a turn for the worst. We still decide to work through it. I was having a boy plus we named him Adonis. We decided to move to California with my mom. Two months later I find a job and after three months I ended up leaving my job. My relationship with the people around me got worse because I was angry all the time. I started spending money until I didn’t have any. Therefore, I was broke, angry and miserable. The major problem this time was that I only looked for the Lord when I was down. Never did I say “Hey Father Thank You for everything you have done for me.” As for that major reason, I believe the Lord kept me down time after time, so I can remember to always keep him high up.
In essence, nobody taught me the right way of loving the Lord. Nobody sat me down and told me to read the bible. Nobody told me that the power of the Lord is amazing and what he can do for us, nobody else can. I knew there was a God, but I didn’t know anything about my father. The moment I analyzed my life and told myself “I didn’t want to live like that anymore” things started changing. I desired to do the right thing and to find the Lord. I longed for the Holy Spirit. I wanted to find my passion. However, I was good at many things yet nothing fulfilled me. To help people is all I ever wanted to do. I vowed to become a better me, a new mind I thought. As a result, I started listening to motivational videos. I decided I was going to read the bible from start to finish. People were always drawn to me throughout my life. Back then I was clueless, but now I saw clearly. They were always seeking for help. My gift is to use my voice to help others through the Lord. God is my only escape. He is my father.
Every time I speak about the Lord, my heart races with excitement. I feel a fire in me I just want to tell everyone about the Lord and what he can do for us. I found my passion. My only mission in life is to serve the Lord. Peace is within me since I have embarked on this new journey. I’m going after what has always been mine no matter what comes my way. All my life I had to fight for myself. The first person to count me out was my own family. I remember when my mom said “I couldn’t love you because nobody loved me” or “You’re a hard person to support.” But I realized it had nothing to do with me. She didn’t love herself enough so how could she love me? She loved me but hated me because she couldn’t control me. I’ve never noticed until now how manipulative my mother was. Meanwhile, I just wanted her for her and everybody else just wanted her money. I’ll always love my mom, I cannot hate her and I’ll forever be grateful for the lifestyle she has provided for me. I don’t want anybody to feel sorry for me because these obstacles made me who I am. Embrace your struggles because crushing is a stage God puts you through before a blessing.