Relationships are not lasting nowadays because people are not healing before dating. Most people that come together are trauma bonding meaning some type of hurt they had in common kept them together. Either family trauma, childhood trauma, etc. Also, another reason is people are mistaking love for lust. Sex is what is bringing some people together into a relationship. Then half the time when the sex stops they realize they have nothing in common and the relationship goes to ruins. However, a third reason is that people are no longer just “settling” and genuinely want what God wants for them. There’s a love that you are going to want with all your heart but won’t be the best for you. Then there is a love that you will need and will come unexpectedly without you even wanting it and that one is the one God wants for you.
No offense but back then I feel like people just settled to get married… they believed they had to forgive everything and that’s not it. God wants us to be evenly yoked not unequally drained. Yes God said you should forgive someone a lot of times but not for cheating, lying, using you, manipulating, etc. Most people from older generations are not walking in their destiny because they put the relationship before God. This is why you see some marriages that have been together for years crumble. Time passes by and they are in their 40s wondering what they have been doing with themselves. Other times people are not happy in their marriage but stay because of the kids. Let me tell you how kids don’t hold two people together and for the sake of the children if it’s not working out it is better to separate because it will hurt the children too.
For instance I was in a relationship for three years with the father of my son. Three years was more than enough for me to know this was not the relationship God had for me. If I wouldn’t have put my life in God’s hands I wouldn’t have been able to make it out of this relationship. I probably would have spent more years in this relationship and probably ended up unhappily married. I thought he loved me but in reality every time he had the chance he would discard me. Every time we had problems he ran to other girls instead of God. He was always lying and manipulating me but I wouldn’t have been able to see this if it wasn’t for God. I tried to fix a broken person and in return he broke me. That is not love and God would rather us be alone and walking in our destiny than to worry about relationships. I was too busy trying to help him reach his destiny that I was about to miss mine.
I was motivating, supporting, and all about him meanwhile he could care less about me and my feelings. I think this happens to a lot of us women. We put the man first in the relationship and forget all about us. We let them walk all over us and call it love but enough is enough. Funny part was that he thought he was hurting me when in reality he was pushing me closer to my destiny. Ladies get you a man that runs to God not another woman when things go bad. You shouldn’t have to teach a boy how to be your man. The man God has for you already knows how to treat you and will love and support you just as equally as you do to him. Also, this works in reverse too for men dealing with bad women. If they don’t want to grow with you let them go. Don’t settle because you think that is the only person out there for you. First find yourself and your destiny and God will send you your person when He feels like you need it.