I had plenty of dark times before. I know we all at some point in our life’s have experienced dark times. Remember that dark place that leads you to that abyss in your mind. That place that makes you either fight or flight. In your head even though you say yes you’ll still manage to talk yourself out of it and say no. Whenever I knew it was the right thing, the devil would always try to send confusion my way. With this confusion I have talked myself out of the right things many times and walked right into the bad.
I knew better and still didn’t do better. Haven’t we all been here… We think of something bad to do and don’t seem to think twice about it. We start to think of our actions after the fact things ended up bad. Truth is I can’t blame nobody but myself for what I go through in life. Most of the time we sabotage ourselves by the decisions we make. I have blamed others when I should have been blaming myself. However, if we want to be truly successful in life we have to start taking accountability for everything in our lives. The people, places, things in our life we chose, we allowed to be there and gave each of these their place in our lives.
Sometimes I have prayed to get out of something so bad and God didn’t help because I needed to stop fighting something he fought so hard for me to get into. I didn’t take a step back to analyze what was really for me and what was not. I was so busy coming up with my own solutions because things didn’t go the way I envisioned it. But what we fail to realize most of the time is that this life is not ours. “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42) I didn’t know then, what I know now. It doesn’t make me a bad person, nobody’s perfect and nobody is God to judge. Don’t sleep on me, remember people slept on Jesus and He arose on the third day.