Confused

My relationship of 3 years ended a while ago. If I’m honest we have been on a rocky road for a while now. Constant arguments, misunderstandings, and bad communication. I don’t know I’ve been so confused lately. I’m working on myself. I know my current circumstances are bad but I still want to believe it can change. Maybe that’s my problem and what led me here to start with… I always want to help. I always see the good in everything. I always try to see the good in everyone. Ugh I’m such an Empath. It’s a blessing and a curse at the same time. My heart has been through so much however it refuses to give up. When people said we would never be together, I didn’t give up. When he lied and deceived me, I didn’t give up. Even when he gave up on me, I didn’t give up.

I’ve been in such a fog lately. I haven’t really had the energy to do much but I still get things done. If I only did things when I felt good I would barely have anything done. Between taking care of my responsibilities, taking care of myself and taking care of my son my days get exhausting. After this pandemic I definitely need a vacation. The problem is I don’t really have anybody to go on vacation with and at this point I don’t care to have anybody. I will go by myself and treat myself the way the world never did. I give myself the love the world never bothered to give me. 22 years of my life I’ve been put last and been putting myself last. But the time has arrived where it’s time to live my life according to God’s will and have fun. I’m only getting older and I’m afraid to live and not do anything I was destined to do.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.