Narcissism

Dealing with a narcissist was one of the hardest life draining experiences I had ever had to go through. A narcissist thrives on darkness and their main purpose is to suck the life out of you. Narcissism is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism. It’s not like they can’t be helped, they can… but you can’t help someone who does not want help. They are basically Satan’s agents and are sent out to destroy your life. They have no self love for themselves and are full of insecurities. In exchange they want to project all those insecurities on you.

I’m still dealing with the healing process and regaining my soul back. He prayed on me because I am a super empath; giver, helper, nurturer and can strongly feel others emotions. I went from being a positive person to an extremely negative person. I didn’t know what a narcissist was until I was in a relationship with the father of my son. I almost lost myself completely because of this person. I thought I was crazy but my intuition was always right. They were a gaslighter, manipulator, liar and a cheater. Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. They are so toxic and would play the victim. If it was not for God getting me out I would have probably wasted my life away. I thank Yahweh for doing what I couldn’t. Narcissists do not love themselves and everything they do comes with a hidden agenda.

They will use you for attention, sex, shelter, money and whatever you have that they want. How do they get in? They will use love bombing to get you at first. Love bombing is the practice of showering a person with excessive affection and attention in order to gain control or significantly influence their behavior. They will mirror you in the beginning to make you think they are your soulmate, best friend or the person you’ve always been waiting for. But it is all a lie because as time fades and you start catching on to them, the true them comes out. You will start to doubt yourself and think it is you but no they had all this planned out since before they met you. When I was finally done I broke it off and he did not care because he automatically started looking for new supplies.

A new supply is the rebound they use because they generally have no inherent or “built-in” sense of self-worth; therefore, they rely on other people, via attention. The next supply would either be a downgrade, someone who is very insecure,or someone who could provide what he needs. Beware because they will try to make you jealous with the new supply. Don’t fall into the trap they might look happy but after the love bombing stage ends they will get it worse than you. Don’t feed into the narcissists games. They might win this battle but you can win the war by completely cutting them off. Take back your power, focus on yourself, glow up and move on: they hate that because they thought they would leave you destroyed. You can guarantee they will be back and hoover over you. Hoovering is the narcissist seducing and convincing the victim to return to the abusive relationship from which they had previously escaped.

Nonetheless, when the narcissist can no longer get to you they will send their flying monkeys which usually are their family and friends. Flying monkeys are people who act on behalf of a narcissist towards the victim to continue their abuse. Trust me I know because his family would keep tabs on me and would cover up his tracks. He would have his flying monkeys attack me through social media. The best way to deal with them all is by removing them all from your life along with the narcissist. Block them all and act like you have never met them. The worst part is that this narcissist and his family claim to be Christians but these are the worst type of people, the ones that hide behind religion. However, we have a “God who sees” (Genesis 16:13) and who protects the righteous. Everybody will get what they deserve, what goes around comes around.

Everything I ever knew was a total lie. I spent three years of my life with a person who never loved me. I’m still grateful because all this had to happen. He led me to Jesus and my destiny with God. He thought he was hurting me but little did he know God was using him to push me into my walk with Yeshua. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (‭‭Genesis‬ ‭50:20‬ ‭NIV‬‬) Plus, my biggest blessing came out of this which is my son Adonis. I believe my son was my prize for all the torment I had to go through. I wish him the best just far away from me and my son. I’m glad he moved back to his hometown and I don’t ever have to see that monster ever again. God is strengthening me each and every day.