The Lord can’t use us if our heart’s not in the right place. We can hide the truth from people but the Lord knows what’s deep within us. “I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings.” (Jeremiah 17:10 NKJV) A good friend of mine tells me all the time “We have to be clean vessels, God cannot use dirty ones.” You can have a heart of gold and mess up and God will use you. Now what I’m talking about is having unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, etc in your heart but in the physical making it seem like there is nothing wrong. We can say we are a child of God but when Jesus comes we will be held accountable for our hearts to start with.
God will not use a dirty vessel because for starters we are not pure on the inside and these are sins. It’s like seeing this beautiful house from the outside and then when you get inside you see the opposite and it’s a mess, dirty and all disorganized. We can hide things from the world but not from God. I only speak from personal experience. I was going through major spiritual warfare and I asked God why if I’m praying, fasting and reading His word. God had to check my heart because I was holding on to things that I thought I had let go of. I had unforgiveness in my heart and I had to be genuine with God. We are not perfect but we do also have a role to play.
I can tell you when you have a raw conversation with God and are honest, confess and repent about the things in your heart He will not only forgive you but help you heal. We cannot expect God to forgive us if we do not forgive others. 14 “If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done.” (Matthew 6:14-15 GNT) And these things don’t make you a bad person. You might have let the world and the trauma change your heart but God can give you your heart of gold back. Just surrender it all to God.