Pain comes to teach us lessons. When we experience pain it is because there is something inside of us that needs to be healed. Something inside of us is not right and we need to identify what that is, so we can be able to overcome the pain. If we choose not to deal with the pain it will never go away. You can try to suppress it or temporarily try to mask it with things like alcohol, drugs, etc. But the truth of the matter is that it will come back eventually. You can deal with it one time to get over it or avoid it because healing is painful, and continually feel that same pain forever.
I’ve been going through a lot and I have to catch you guys up on it. I’m also in the process of a divorce. However, what I went through in the marriage taught me the most valuable lessons. I married a narcissist thinking it was love but it was really a trauma bond. I gave this person five years of my life and time. Four years in a relationship and one year of marriage. This man tried to break me down repeatedly but God used it all for His glory and for my good. The pain I endured in this marriage taught me many things and I’m grateful for that. I could be bitter, resentful and unforgiving but I would rather be happy and whole.
I learned lessons like how to always put God and Jesus first. I learned how to love myself more and set up boundaries. I never knew what boundaries were and that we needed them. I learned what a marriage is not supposed to be, now I’m able to identify the real thing when it comes. I learned how to walk fully for my purpose. I learned to change old habits and mindsets that no longer serve me where God is trying to take me, amongst many other things.. My problem was that I wanted to see the good in this person no matter what, but it was detrimental for me mentally.
This experience opened my eyes to the healing I needed to do within. I had to identify why I did the things I did. Why was I attracted to this person to start with? And everything started with my childhood trauma. So, yes healing is painful because you have to dig deep within childhood years, teen years and adult life. However, healing leads to wholeness. Healing leads to you becoming the person God created you to be. Healing leads to you walking into purpose. Healing leads to freedom. Here I am to tell you to learn from your pain because there is a lesson in the breaking.