Healing is Messy

Healing is a messy process. I’m learning to love myself again. I’m healing from past traumas in my family and past relationships. Some days you feel like everything is okay. Some days you feel like everything is tumbling down. Some days you honestly don’t even know how to feel. It’s crazy because all you can do is pray and wait until God heals you. My heart feels heavy at times and my stomach feels like it has a knot. Sometimes I ask myself questions like: Am I doing the right thing? Am I making the right decisions for my son? How do I know I’m moving towards my destiny? What does God want for me? However, at the end of the day I have to remind myself life goes on. Whether people mistreat me or cause me pain, life goes on. I can’t walk through life dwelling on my pain and what ifs. I have to remember God got me and that these are growing pains. These were just lessons in life I needed in order to grow me into the women I’m meant to become. Life is all about becoming who you want to be. You have to retrain your mind to think differently than what you were taught and your circumstances. Don’t let your current circumstances dictate your decisions because God can do the unimaginable. In the meantime all I have left to do is pray and pray until one day it doesn’t bother me anymore. I can only trust the process and God’s timing. “ Trust in him at all times, my people; tell him all your troubles; for he is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)

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